02.11.19 | Sharing V-Day Sentiments
One version has it that Valentine's Day originated in the Middle Ages to commemorate the warbling of songbirds as they finally emerge from the dead of winter to start looking for a mate (another version marks the beheading of a holy priest ordered by Claudius II in 278 A.D. after performing marriage ceremonies for otherwise-eligible army conscripts ). In any event, the mating dance for us creatures with a neocortex involves a little more than just warbling.
Member Monday will be a shared look beyond the Romantic idea of human coupling -- the pursuit, the projections, the fantasies, the candlelight cliche' -- as we contemplate some lessons learned in our own respective life journeys. Perhaps we can offer some helpful insights to the younger participants as they embark on their own life adventure.
Starting us off is a NYT article with a deceptively pessimistic title (link: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/.../why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html) along with a much fuller video rendering (link: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person - Alain de Botton). The title is deceptive in that what's wrong largely relates to the excessive imaginative pressure that our romantic culture places upon marriage. Get over it: we're all flawed. The suggested standard question on any early dinner date (at least in a wiser, more self-aware society) would be, "And how are you crazy?"
The core of our discussion, however, features the thoughts of Michele Weiner-Davis, the internationally renowned relationship expert, best-selling author, and professional speaker who specializes in helping people change their lives and improve their important relationships. Our pre-session background includes Michele's virtual introduction by way of her TEDx talk (link: The Sex- Starved Marriage). But, as they say, there's more! Our community contains so many pockets of immense talent and a little-known fact is that the headquarters of Michele's high-powered The Divorce Busting Center is located in our very own Highland building.
There can be no promises but Michele has indicated she may be able to join us in person for our session if her schedule cooperates. And, if so, Michele would have a short presentation aptly titled "The One Principle Every Person Needs To Know To Make Any Relationship Work." She believes if more people understood this one principle she'd be out of work. Now they tell me :)
In any case perhaps the most fundamental relationship is the one with oneself. As a divorce lawyer (having performed marriage "autopsies" for twenty years) counsels, "What is the problem to which marriage is the solution for me?" (link: 2,350 words). We may also revisit our Member Monday (10/2/2017)/Chasing Epicurus discussion which centers around that philosopher's proposition that of all things which wisdom provides to make us entirely happy it is not the pursuit of love too ardently but the possession of friendships that is the ultimate key.
Now that's an all-embracing V-Day sentiment.
(In addition, please note the announcement of the exciting Science Lunch which will next meet Wednesday 2/13, PDF attachment HERE)